Mind over Emotions

There's this guy I've been dating for about 8 months now. Three of which were in person, the last five have been over the internet while he serves in Afghanistan. He's the most intelligent man I know, as well as the most romantic.

The problems I've been having in my life lately have been bad enough, I've just avoided telling him these problems because he's at war and I don't want him to worry. Well, yesterday on the computer while we talked I told him pretty much everything. I wouldn't have but the time called for drastic measures. he was saying that I don't do all the cute and lovey things that good relationships do, so I had to lay it straight. Sadly, he came to the conclusion that maybe having him as a boyfriend right now might be a burden. =[

So, now he wants me to take the time until he gets back to get my life together. I respect the decision, but my heart hates it. I love him, and he loves me, but having him only as a friend hurts. There's so many worries to be had. Even though I know I shouldn't. I just do. He means a lot.

He's not someone I need to be with, but someone I want to be with. There's a huge difference. I wish I could just have my life together now. That's what I've been trying to do the past 3 months. *sigh* Time needs to go faster.