Forgetting Fear

I went to Mt. Rainier today. Absolutely beautiful. I hadn't been there since I was a girl and I realized that its a huge mountain! haha A friend and I planned to go hiking, so as we enter the park the rangers tells us, "don't go past the 8mile mark unless you have chains. Snow is really coming down up there, so chains are required." We agree and then all of the sudden we're passing the 10th mile mark.... Then all of the sudden we're stuck on the opposite side of the road. We're not moving. Eventually a ranger comes, he asks if we were heading up or down because he notice we had no chains. We said heading up, he responded with "did you not see all the signs? Required chains for the past 2miles." He helped us out and got us heading down the mountain. We find a nice place around the 7mile mark and we park the car, and get our gear on. We head up this trail, over a beautiful creek that stayed along trail for the majority of the hike. It had about 50ft. on each side of it, so no one was going to get to it, but all the rocks were perfectly constructed by all the pounding water. Perfect steps and blue clear water.
We hike up about 1.5 miles of intense mountain in the 5 ft of snow. Of course there was a path that helped. haha. Once we got to about 1.5miles we decided that it'd be best if we start heading back. By now, I've taken my 2layer Columbia jacket off and I just have longjohns, jeans, boots 5 sizes to big in mens sizes and then I have under armour and a long sleeve and then a hoodie with some gloves. I look pretty unprepared to the average eye to be hiking in the mountains, a hoodie, jeans and HUGE boots. Anyways, we start heading down, moving off and on the path. Then I stopped on the path. There was a clearing through all the trees and bushes, about 25yrds long and 10yrds wide. I look at my friend, and then look back at all the free snow. Before he can say anything, I jump. I didn't just jump either. I flipped. From there I continued to flip, tumble and slide down this hill for the 25yrds. One of the funniest/fun things I've done. My friend's face was priceless! Pretty much an "OH MY GOSH, MY FRIEND IS SUICIDAL!" face. He continued to follow the path because he had the backpack with everything in it. But as we continued down the mountain, where ever there was an open spot, I jumped, slid, or did flips pretending to shoot stuff.
I was free though. I just let myself fall. I got to be a child for 1.5 miles. I had no idea what fear was for the whole trip down. It didn't matter if it was almost a cliff, I was flipping! I absolutely love snow!!

First For Everything

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that made you feel pretty good after? Ever started a new hobby or some kind of activity like underwater basket weaving, hiking or simply reading and you really enjoyed it or just happened to be really good at it? I've decided that I'm really good at thinking. Being away from home in my first year of college at Saint Martin's University, I have had a lot of time to think my own thoughts.

My English 101 class is really what started it all. We read a book called Sin Boldly! by David Williams which is basically about writing something you give a damn about. Most of my peers are really good at regurgitating the information our teachers give us when we write reports and make say what we think our teachers want to hear. Well, the book is sort of a slap in the face to that and talks about writing what you actually think. America is all about "freedom of speech" and individuality, but everyone seems to just go with the flow of mediocrity and do as their neighbor. I've always had my own voice, but I kept it to my self because I didn't want to be "that girl" with the crazy ideas. "I want there to be a computer in every home," Bill Gates.... Interesting. I guess my point is that from the beginning of September to now, I've discovered that thinking my own thoughts and sharing them occasionally is good.

When I think, I mean really sit down and think, it's like going over the edge of perfectly steep, snow covered hill on a sled. Once you start, you progressively get faster and the adrenaline gets pumping. Occasionally you meet a stump at the bottom when some moron interrupts the excitement with a phone call about god only knows what. But in any case, I love taking everything to the next level. Trying to what someone really means when they say something like "you're such a Nazi, abortion is a terrible thing," or "what's good Nigga?" or something really interesting, "what is foundation for the house that makes up your life?" People are so fascinating. There are so many thoughts, philosophies, analogies, stories, and experiences to be had. The hardest part is finding who you are and why.

My goal for this blog is to use it as a public journal of my daily thoughts. At some point, I hope all of them connect to help me find my purpose or life structure or whatever you want to call it. This blog is will my journey for the discovery of self. So cliche, I love it. I look forward to getting everyone's feedback and influences. =]