Battle with Myself

I swear I must be getting close to insanity.

There are two very different sides of me. One side is motivated and self driven, always up for a challenge and making sacrifices now for be successful later. The second side is a frickin' rebel. I'm like the crazy rebellious teenage girl who gets her nose pierced and sneaks out to parties. I don't understand it, but it's ridiculous.

I have such high standards for myself that I'm never satisfied with the things I accomplish, so I have this second part of me just gives up before I even start. It's only getting worse too. =[

I had this plan that was journey to my goal of a solid career kind of like heading on the interstate to a destination. When I came into college to get good grades, play golf, work and have my boyfriend. Now, none of it's true! I took a quick exit to eat lunch and now I'm lost and I can't find a way back to start progressing towards the destination. But I also don't know what the destination is anymore.

Crap.