I went to Mt. Rainier today. Absolutely beautiful. I hadn't been there since I was a girl and I realized that its a huge mountain! haha A friend and I planned to go hiking, so as we enter the park the rangers tells us, "don't go past the 8mile mark unless you have chains. Snow is really coming down up there, so chains are required." We agree and then all of the sudden we're passing the 10th mile mark.... Then all of the sudden we're stuck on the opposite side of the road. We're not moving. Eventually a ranger comes, he asks if we were heading up or down because he notice we had no chains. We said heading up, he responded with "did you not see all the signs? Required chains for the past 2miles." He helped us out and got us heading down the mountain. We find a nice place around the 7mile mark and we park the car, and get our gear on. We head up this trail, over a beautiful creek that stayed along trail for the majority of the hike. It had about 50ft. on each side of it, so no one was going to get to it, but all the rocks were perfectly constructed by all the pounding water. Perfect steps and blue clear water.
We hike up about 1.5 miles of intense mountain in the 5 ft of snow. Of course there was a path that helped. haha. Once we got to about 1.5miles we decided that it'd be best if we start heading back. By now, I've taken my 2layer Columbia jacket off and I just have longjohns, jeans, boots 5 sizes to big in mens sizes and then I have under armour and a long sleeve and then a hoodie with some gloves. I look pretty unprepared to the average eye to be hiking in the mountains, a hoodie, jeans and HUGE boots. Anyways, we start heading down, moving off and on the path. Then I stopped on the path. There was a clearing through all the trees and bushes, about 25yrds long and 10yrds wide. I look at my friend, and then look back at all the free snow. Before he can say anything, I jump. I didn't just jump either. I flipped. From there I continued to flip, tumble and slide down this hill for the 25yrds. One of the funniest/fun things I've done. My friend's face was priceless! Pretty much an "OH MY GOSH, MY FRIEND IS SUICIDAL!" face. He continued to follow the path because he had the backpack with everything in it. But as we continued down the mountain, where ever there was an open spot, I jumped, slid, or did flips pretending to shoot stuff.
I was free though. I just let myself fall. I got to be a child for 1.5 miles. I had no idea what fear was for the whole trip down. It didn't matter if it was almost a cliff, I was flipping! I absolutely love snow!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Battle with Myself
I swear I must be getting close to insanity.
There are two very different sides of me. One side is motivated and self driven, always up for a challenge and making sacrifices now for be successful later. The second side is a frickin' rebel. I'm like the crazy rebellious teenage girl who gets her nose pierced and sneaks out to parties. I don't understand it, but it's ridiculous.
I have such high standards for myself that I'm never satisfied with the things I accomplish, so I have this second part of me just gives up before I even start. It's only getting worse too. =[
I had this plan that was journey to my goal of a solid career kind of like heading on the interstate to a destination. When I came into college to get good grades, play golf, work and have my boyfriend. Now, none of it's true! I took a quick exit to eat lunch and now I'm lost and I can't find a way back to start progressing towards the destination. But I also don't know what the destination is anymore.
Crap.
There are two very different sides of me. One side is motivated and self driven, always up for a challenge and making sacrifices now for be successful later. The second side is a frickin' rebel. I'm like the crazy rebellious teenage girl who gets her nose pierced and sneaks out to parties. I don't understand it, but it's ridiculous.
I have such high standards for myself that I'm never satisfied with the things I accomplish, so I have this second part of me just gives up before I even start. It's only getting worse too. =[
I had this plan that was journey to my goal of a solid career kind of like heading on the interstate to a destination. When I came into college to get good grades, play golf, work and have my boyfriend. Now, none of it's true! I took a quick exit to eat lunch and now I'm lost and I can't find a way back to start progressing towards the destination. But I also don't know what the destination is anymore.
Crap.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Mind over Emotions
There's this guy I've been dating for about 8 months now. Three of which were in person, the last five have been over the internet while he serves in Afghanistan. He's the most intelligent man I know, as well as the most romantic.
The problems I've been having in my life lately have been bad enough, I've just avoided telling him these problems because he's at war and I don't want him to worry. Well, yesterday on the computer while we talked I told him pretty much everything. I wouldn't have but the time called for drastic measures. he was saying that I don't do all the cute and lovey things that good relationships do, so I had to lay it straight. Sadly, he came to the conclusion that maybe having him as a boyfriend right now might be a burden. =[
So, now he wants me to take the time until he gets back to get my life together. I respect the decision, but my heart hates it. I love him, and he loves me, but having him only as a friend hurts. There's so many worries to be had. Even though I know I shouldn't. I just do. He means a lot.
He's not someone I need to be with, but someone I want to be with. There's a huge difference. I wish I could just have my life together now. That's what I've been trying to do the past 3 months. *sigh* Time needs to go faster.
The problems I've been having in my life lately have been bad enough, I've just avoided telling him these problems because he's at war and I don't want him to worry. Well, yesterday on the computer while we talked I told him pretty much everything. I wouldn't have but the time called for drastic measures. he was saying that I don't do all the cute and lovey things that good relationships do, so I had to lay it straight. Sadly, he came to the conclusion that maybe having him as a boyfriend right now might be a burden. =[
So, now he wants me to take the time until he gets back to get my life together. I respect the decision, but my heart hates it. I love him, and he loves me, but having him only as a friend hurts. There's so many worries to be had. Even though I know I shouldn't. I just do. He means a lot.
He's not someone I need to be with, but someone I want to be with. There's a huge difference. I wish I could just have my life together now. That's what I've been trying to do the past 3 months. *sigh* Time needs to go faster.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Only if I knew then what I know now...
I was sitting in the Martin Way Diner today for a late lunch when two older men sat down and the restaurant bar with me. We ended up chatting for a while after they talked about they're 8 hour shifts. That sucks. They found out that I'm a freshman in college, 18 etc etc and one man said, "I remember being 18, oh, only if I knew then what I know now." What a typical line. But my response, "Well I've taken what everyone older knows and I'm doing it now." He'd immediately got on defense. haha. "What's that supposed to mean??" I told him that every older person I've ever met wished they did worked harder and did more when they were younger so that life would be easier later on. Well, that's what I'm doing. I'm working my ass off to learn and gain experience while all my friends are at parties or watching TV. muahahaha.
I'm already ahead of the game. I know that my resume would be chosen over everyone else here at campus. I'm not being cocky, I don't believe in that, but I'm really confident in my skills that I've earned from being with Vector Marketing. Seriously. I'm in training right now to open my own branch office in another city. The company is giving me a city, a few bucks, and saying have at it! I'll be responsible for all the advertising, recruiting, interviewing, hiring, firing, training, maintaining, pay, supplies, bills, all of it! I'm going to be an entrepreneur for a summer campaign with the company. My office with be responsible for at least $125,000 in sales or if I do well, according to my business plan up to $200,000.
I love my job. 9 to 5. Not for me. One of my life goals is to not work for the man. I want to be "the man." My mom actually told me to get a real job with hours. haha But who makes those hours?? THE MAN. When does the man work? When he needs to. Other then that I'll be golfing. =]
I'm already ahead of the game. I know that my resume would be chosen over everyone else here at campus. I'm not being cocky, I don't believe in that, but I'm really confident in my skills that I've earned from being with Vector Marketing. Seriously. I'm in training right now to open my own branch office in another city. The company is giving me a city, a few bucks, and saying have at it! I'll be responsible for all the advertising, recruiting, interviewing, hiring, firing, training, maintaining, pay, supplies, bills, all of it! I'm going to be an entrepreneur for a summer campaign with the company. My office with be responsible for at least $125,000 in sales or if I do well, according to my business plan up to $200,000.
I love my job. 9 to 5. Not for me. One of my life goals is to not work for the man. I want to be "the man." My mom actually told me to get a real job with hours. haha But who makes those hours?? THE MAN. When does the man work? When he needs to. Other then that I'll be golfing. =]
Friday, November 13, 2009
Feeling Good
I actually went to class today. Well two of the three classes. Apparently I'm not missing more than an assignment or two. I guess I could do my homework now. haha I have other things to do first! Heading to Tacoma first to REI then to go sell knives. I love my job. Then homework at either Borders or Denny's depending on how late it is.
Hopefully I'll actually do my homework there. Usually I get caught up in people watching and journaling everything. People are fascinating! They're really funny sometimes. I find that the more I people watch the better I get at predicting what a person is like. But then there is always that one person who totally throws me for a loop and I have no idea what to say. ha!
Back to the "Feeling Good," going to class was really boring, but I already feel better about the day. I need to work on doing things for principle instead of emotional thoughts.
Hopefully I'll actually do my homework there. Usually I get caught up in people watching and journaling everything. People are fascinating! They're really funny sometimes. I find that the more I people watch the better I get at predicting what a person is like. But then there is always that one person who totally throws me for a loop and I have no idea what to say. ha!
Back to the "Feeling Good," going to class was really boring, but I already feel better about the day. I need to work on doing things for principle instead of emotional thoughts.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Priorities
Today I missed my sixth day of school in a row. I have a feeling that that's not a good thing. I worked really hard this summer to pay for all this "education." But, I think I know what my problem is. I don't see any value in going to class; all the general education classes are so dull or are full information I learned in high school. Not all of my classes are dull though. I think that my English 101 class is amazing; my prof has really put a new perspective on things for me. I love it! But, I still don't go. I typically stay up extremely late doing work stuff, thinking or philosophizing about random nothings. I find way more value in doing things for my amazing job because I know it's helping me grow, and thinking is what keeps me entertained.
One thought that I think you might enjoy is my priority jar. I can't take full credit for the idea, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Say you have a glass jar. You fill it up to the top with big rocks. Is it full? Nope. There's room for some gravel, so you poor that in, how about now? Not quite. Dump in some sand into the jar. Now it's full right? Nope. What about water. Poor that it and put on the lid. Now it's full.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, the big rocks are your biggest priorities, like work, health, family, school. Then the gravel are you next biggest, things like hobbies. The sand is the dream you have for yourself. What you always shoot for or a religion that kind of packs it all in. Then we have the water. The water is almost the bad habits in your life, or the things you do when you know that you shouldn't. For example, some people party.
It's really important that all of them are put in the jar in order. You can't fill up the jar with water and then put in big rocks. It'll overflow. So, what are your big rocks?
I think for me, that I put in one big rock, work, and then a bunch of water, thinking. I have got to get my priorities straight. Damn.
One thought that I think you might enjoy is my priority jar. I can't take full credit for the idea, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Say you have a glass jar. You fill it up to the top with big rocks. Is it full? Nope. There's room for some gravel, so you poor that in, how about now? Not quite. Dump in some sand into the jar. Now it's full right? Nope. What about water. Poor that it and put on the lid. Now it's full.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, the big rocks are your biggest priorities, like work, health, family, school. Then the gravel are you next biggest, things like hobbies. The sand is the dream you have for yourself. What you always shoot for or a religion that kind of packs it all in. Then we have the water. The water is almost the bad habits in your life, or the things you do when you know that you shouldn't. For example, some people party.
It's really important that all of them are put in the jar in order. You can't fill up the jar with water and then put in big rocks. It'll overflow. So, what are your big rocks?
I think for me, that I put in one big rock, work, and then a bunch of water, thinking. I have got to get my priorities straight. Damn.
First For Everything
Have you ever discovered something about yourself that made you feel pretty good after? Ever started a new hobby or some kind of activity like underwater basket weaving, hiking or simply reading and you really enjoyed it or just happened to be really good at it? I've decided that I'm really good at thinking. Being away from home in my first year of college at Saint Martin's University, I have had a lot of time to think my own thoughts.
My English 101 class is really what started it all. We read a book called Sin Boldly! by David Williams which is basically about writing something you give a damn about. Most of my peers are really good at regurgitating the information our teachers give us when we write reports and make say what we think our teachers want to hear. Well, the book is sort of a slap in the face to that and talks about writing what you actually think. America is all about "freedom of speech" and individuality, but everyone seems to just go with the flow of mediocrity and do as their neighbor. I've always had my own voice, but I kept it to my self because I didn't want to be "that girl" with the crazy ideas. "I want there to be a computer in every home," Bill Gates.... Interesting. I guess my point is that from the beginning of September to now, I've discovered that thinking my own thoughts and sharing them occasionally is good.
When I think, I mean really sit down and think, it's like going over the edge of perfectly steep, snow covered hill on a sled. Once you start, you progressively get faster and the adrenaline gets pumping. Occasionally you meet a stump at the bottom when some moron interrupts the excitement with a phone call about god only knows what. But in any case, I love taking everything to the next level. Trying to what someone really means when they say something like "you're such a Nazi, abortion is a terrible thing," or "what's good Nigga?" or something really interesting, "what is foundation for the house that makes up your life?" People are so fascinating. There are so many thoughts, philosophies, analogies, stories, and experiences to be had. The hardest part is finding who you are and why.
My goal for this blog is to use it as a public journal of my daily thoughts. At some point, I hope all of them connect to help me find my purpose or life structure or whatever you want to call it. This blog is will my journey for the discovery of self. So cliche, I love it. I look forward to getting everyone's feedback and influences. =]
My English 101 class is really what started it all. We read a book called Sin Boldly! by David Williams which is basically about writing something you give a damn about. Most of my peers are really good at regurgitating the information our teachers give us when we write reports and make say what we think our teachers want to hear. Well, the book is sort of a slap in the face to that and talks about writing what you actually think. America is all about "freedom of speech" and individuality, but everyone seems to just go with the flow of mediocrity and do as their neighbor. I've always had my own voice, but I kept it to my self because I didn't want to be "that girl" with the crazy ideas. "I want there to be a computer in every home," Bill Gates.... Interesting. I guess my point is that from the beginning of September to now, I've discovered that thinking my own thoughts and sharing them occasionally is good.
When I think, I mean really sit down and think, it's like going over the edge of perfectly steep, snow covered hill on a sled. Once you start, you progressively get faster and the adrenaline gets pumping. Occasionally you meet a stump at the bottom when some moron interrupts the excitement with a phone call about god only knows what. But in any case, I love taking everything to the next level. Trying to what someone really means when they say something like "you're such a Nazi, abortion is a terrible thing," or "what's good Nigga?" or something really interesting, "what is foundation for the house that makes up your life?" People are so fascinating. There are so many thoughts, philosophies, analogies, stories, and experiences to be had. The hardest part is finding who you are and why.
My goal for this blog is to use it as a public journal of my daily thoughts. At some point, I hope all of them connect to help me find my purpose or life structure or whatever you want to call it. This blog is will my journey for the discovery of self. So cliche, I love it. I look forward to getting everyone's feedback and influences. =]
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